Out Of Place

I... Should write about politics. Politics is easy.

The trouble in the State is getting worse. The attacks on planetary targets are continuing, and most sources are now reporting that they're going for military targets. Lots of pirate factions are getting involved. The Executor is throwing around his power like never before, scorning the CPD and CEP's judgment. I've heard from other pilots that he's gone mad. It's almost starting to look at though he might be deposed.

Father is, as one could expect, thrilled, on account of it being the Provist uprising that essentially killed his career and credibility. (Well, and perhaps some of his own more... Harsh decisions, but it is not right for one to question their parents such.) I delivered the news to him myself, since I had picked it up well before it started to become widespread by listening in to Capsuleer gossip. Within minutes, he was talking about getting in contact with some of his old associates in the corporation and perhaps seeking a means to wiggle his way back into the structure, and of course going on about the the Executor was finally "Getting what he gave" for almost destroying my family. 

It'll be funny if it ends up panning out in such a manner that my family can return from it's relative social exile, in the sense that it will mean there was no need for me ever to become a Capsuleer to repair our reputation at all. (And I mean "funny" in the least funny was possible, here.) My father asked about my progress in that regard as well, of course, which I informed him was coming along.

I'm still not sure how to feel about the whole thing, myself. I mean, I make no secret of the fact that I hold extreme distaste for Heth. (Well, no secret of it in private, at least.) The man is a racist thug, yet he's essentially Emperor of the State, at the moment. Never mind the fact that a concept like that shouldn't even exist. And in more personal sense, his actions did make life very hard for me, for a few years. 

But I'm really worried about all the things that could happen. What if people I know get hurt? What if it ends in civil war? What if the Executor gets desperate, and has the fleet in Luminaire burn Gallente Prime to dust, or something equally hysterically destructive?

Gods, I don't even want to think about it. Why am I thinking about it? I don't even know why I am. It's not as if it's any of my business - I'm barely even a citizen of the State. I've spent most of my life on a planet nothing like the rest of it that most ethnic Caldari would likely consider a backwater.

I tried to play at being politically minded in the Heiian College the other day, but I felt disingenuous even as I was doing so. Saying things like, "The only thing we have is our technological edge", or, "The economy can't sustain another massive downturn". Hah. I felt more and more ludicrous the more serious I attempted to sound. Who on earth was I trying to fool? I don't know anything. And even if I did, I'm not anywhere near important enough to change anything. Everything I said was a petulant and childish observation, said only in the interests in self affirmation and a desire to feel equal amongst "peers".

Like I was just a child in the schoolyard, trying to fit in. 

...Speaking of which, I guess, I've decided to attend Silas Vitalia's party, out of some likely horrendously misguided desire to befriend more Capsuleers. Though I still remember mister Shutaqs... Unfortunate account of the last event she held (The one where he set himself on fire in protest of her conversion), I do not fear too much for my safety, since so many others will be here. 

And though she was cruel when we met - And likely still is, in intent - Miss Vitalia has been oddly kind to me lately. So she's likely to not rip out my still-beating heart, or anything of that sort.  

...Well, at the very least, it's unlikely. I'll have my softclone updated, just in case.

Though I've already been doing that every night. I'm probably getting a little paranoid.