The Fox's Shield

Though I would never say so publicly, I've come to resent the Caldari, somewhat. 

Not for the reasons I wrote about earlier, mind - I'd consider that whole affair more the fault of a single, deranged individual then that of an entire culture, although I suppose the two might be slightly related - but for far more general ones.

I'm not really quite certain how and when it exactly occurred. I've always felt and said that I wasn't really much of one - I've always identified as an Achura in pretty much all terms, instead of one of them - But I never really had any negative sentiment. I simply took it as a given that the protection and economic uplifting that they provide was, if wont to cause a few small problems, ultimately an unquestionably good thing.  

Lately, though...

 I've begun to notice things I did not in times past, or perhaps that were simply not highlighted to the same degree before I became a Capsuleer. Little things; Nothing that I could rightly point to and declare my distaste for without appearing a bit of a fool, which perhaps only makes them all the more frustrating.

For instance. A few months ago, I didn't know a word of Napaani. Well, I suppose that isn't strictly true - I knew my haans and my haani's, and a couple other odd phrases I'd picked up just from pure observation over the years. But my knowledge was (and still is, really) minimal to the point that I felt actually trying to use it in conversation would be a little crude and disingenuous, perhaps even a little insulting. I mean, truly, what measure of respect could I hope to gain by forcing out the occasional word or two, likely mispronounced to the point of butchery? From a half-dead ancestral tongue not even of my kin? I might as well have relieved myself on the Kaalkiota peaks.

So I made no use of it. And for a while, it never came up. And just as well - I mean, why would it? No one would spare thoughts on such a trivial difference between myself and my peers.

Yet, someone did.

Trying to think back, the exact circumstances sort of escape me. I remember that it was in the Heiian College channel at some ungodly hour, and that I'd just finished with some incredibly stupid argument in the Summit about shoes or not liking animals or some equally inane nonsense. It was back when Tibus Heth was showing only the first symptoms of his at the time not-so-blatant decent into madness, so slow debate about the direction of the State in the near future was taking place.

I can't recall his name, now, but I was weighing in my opinion casually (and probably making a fool of myself in the process) against one of the participants, when out of the blue, he took offense to the fact that I did not use his "proper title". Of course, I apologized profusely, not wanting to cause any offense, and explained that I simply did not know the tongue. But rather then leaving it at that, he went on to give me a brief lecture about how Napaani is something "every Caldari ought to learn", how it "shows our unity", and is "a proud part of our heritage" (as if it isn't essentially a vanity project by the upper class).

Disrespectful, no? Likely the work of a simple bigot, trying to misguidedly foist his culture onto one it doesn't truly belong? It surely could not have been my heritage of which he spoke, of course, since my ancestors feet never for a moment graced the icy surface where the tongue knew it's inception. At the time, I went along with his sentiment without a thought, and even begun trying to correct my use of language in response. But the more I dwell on it, the more absurd it all seems.

Yet what was he? Civire, perhaps? Deteis? Ah, but here's the twist in the tale - He was an Achur. A little fox cub calling itself a wolf, offering critique to another for the shortness of it's fangs and the brightness of it's fur. Forgetting itself, utterly and completely.

...

Gods and spirits. Reading over what I just put to paper... I suppose I didn't realize how much it'd come to upset me, even in deciding to write this. To scold the Caldari, and one of my own kin in turn, with such rampantness and inconsideration - It hardly shows much wisdom. One could even call it a bit unachuran of me, ironically enough.

Blaming him is pointless, anyway. If one takes water from a stream into the mountains, it will harden and become ice. He was likely only speaking as he was taught to believe.

But the fact that it is so is troubling. It evokes a deep seated sorrow from me, to see one of my own identify so completely with another culture, of which they share no blood. And they are hardly unique in such a regard; Almost all Achur Capsuleers I see are the same. Talking of the glory of the Caldari, of the need to reclaim their homeworld, the legacy of their people. Praying and paying heed to not their own Gods, but those of a distant world. Speaking of the Way of the Winds, not of the Creator and the teachings of the sects. Really, I can only name one happy exception.

Of course, one could say that blood does not define who a person is, and that is true, for sure. But have we really been served by their uplifting of us? They speak so often of their own ancestors, but what would my own think, to see so many of our people praising the ways of others alien to us?  Would they have wished so many of us to die, fighting a war that really should be none of our business?

At the time I'd thought it simple formality - a standard continuation of the usual hyperpatriotic white noise one see's in a lot of the State - but considerable encouragement was given to me in the academy to take up "traditional Caldari values". To seek honor and wealth for the glory of the State, to take up their customs... I'd dismissed it at the time, but in retrospect, it all seems somewhat sinister. Manipulative. Uncaring.

It is often said that the Caldari are our shield - That they defend us from the cultural assimilation and whitewashing of the Gallente, or the outright conquest of the Amarr. But is the fate they offer any kinder? Will the steel towers they have raised in what were once our greatest cities one day expand to cover all our world, without a thought spent for the hypocrisy of one who cares so much for their own past, eradicating that of another?

That's if the warmongering of our distant leaders doesn't destroy us all first, of course.

...At least I'm safe for now, in that regard. With Ishukone pushing for peace, and whole State on the cusp of civil war, participating in the militia conflict could be said to be almost anti-liberal - A label my Father has made quite clear that he doesn't want on our family name. So I continue to do as I will, for now, while he considers the affair. Hopefully I'll get through it without needing to shoot down any Provists.

Though, all things considered, I suppose there are far worse enemies. Even if I'd much prefer none at all.